Don’t shoot the dog
When Peaches became part of our family at age six months, we began training. My mentor, friend, and owner of the stable where Peaches boarded guided me in the process. She shared a book which provided much enlightenment and lots of strategies. The book title? Don’t Shoot the Dog.
The premise of the book is training strategies. The title derived from a specific example the author provided. If a person has a dog that barks incessantly, makes the neighbors angry, and keeps the homeowners awake all night, there’s obviously a problem. One solution to the problem could be to give the dog to someone who lives far away. A definitive way to eliminate the problem is to eliminate the dog.
Don’t shoot the dog
The author does not advocate shooting the dog to stop its barking. The author’s recommendation? Train an alternate behavior.
What is an alternate behavior?
An action recommended by counselors working with people with addictions is a good example. This strategy involves making a change in their environment–avoid social locations where they may encounter the temptations of drugs and alcohol. Rather than visiting places where drugs or alcohol are present or mingling with friends who use drugs, develop relationships with people who are not involved with drug use. Choose an alternate behavior that avoids contact with people or places where drugs or alcohol may be available.
So rather than shoot the barking dog, train the dog to have an alternate behavior. The same strategy works with horses and…with people.
Changing a negative behavior
We all have behaviors that aren’t good for us. These may involve our spiritual life, our physical care of our bodies, interactions with others, or any aspect of our lives. Actually, if we reflect, we may find several negative behaviors we want to change, but we find the challenge too difficult.
Paul the Apostle writes of his struggle to do the “right” thing:
We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. (Romans 7: 14-16)
Paul knew what he should do. He understood what he wanted to do. Yet, Paul found himself drawn into the behavior that he didn’t want to do. Sin tempted him into negative behaviors.
For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do–this I keep on doing. (Romans 7:18-19)
Our Counselor and Guide
But there was one thing Paul was very sure of. He couldn’t change his negative actions into good behaviors without the help of Jesus.
Jesus sent all of us who believe in Him a guide–a counselor to help us stay on the right path–a teacher to model righteous behavior–and a Savior to lead us to eternal life through Him.
“I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever–the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.” (John 14:16-17)
We have a Spiritual being living within us! How awesome is that? The Holy Spirit serves as our Counselor and Guide to help us change those negative behaviors into positive ones.
Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him. (Psalm 37:5)
What habits would you like to change to more positive behaviors? Our Lord will help. (And we don’t need to “shoot the dog.”)
Another timely article that I can instantly apply to my life. Sometimes, the changes we need affect both body and soul my friend. Thank you!
I agree, J.D. I think practically every aspect of our health impacts all the others–body and soul sums it up. Wishing you a blessed week. Hope you got some rain on the ranch.
You’re right, Katherine. We require the Holy Spirit’s guidance to change our negative behaviors into positive ones. I’m so grateful for those daily nudges.
We can’t do it by ourselves–that lesson took me a long time to learn. I’m so thankful our Father is patient and, as you point out, gives us those daily nudges. We usually have plenty of opportunity to respond to the daily nudges before He sends a more painful reminder. Wishing joy and peace, Diana.
We all need to hear this message at various seasons of life. Thanks for the reminder that Jesus is the way for our lives to change for the better. God bless, Katherine!
Our seasons change, but God’s love and faithfulness lasts forever. We are so blessed! Wishing you a wonderful week, Nancy.
Personally, I’m seeking to cast all my cares on God before I become overwrought with anxiety that often lead to negative behaviors. Too often I wait until anxiety starts interfering with sleep, healthy eating and exercise habits, along with other things before I give my burden to Him.
I’m guilty of the same waiting, Candyce. I’m a slow learner, I suppose. I’m thankful our Father is patient with my stubborn attitude and my desire to be in control. Your reminder is timely for me, “Cast all my cares on God before I become overwrought.” May God gift you with peace and joy.
We can’t alter our behavior through our own power. We do need the Holy Spirits power working in us and we must give Him control.
Sometimes submission is hard, but you are absolutely right–we must give up our own desire for control and give ourselves completely to Jesus. Thank you for sharing your insights, Barbara. Wishing you a week filled with joy and blessings.
Thank you, Katherine, for this reminder. I’m thankful the Holy Spirit lives in me and helps me daily in my walk with Christ. I need His guidance and nudges to stay on track.
You express your thoughts so well, LuAnn. Like you, I’m thankful for the gift of the Holy Spirit to guide us on a daily basis. Aren’t we blessed? Wishing you joy and peace.
I appreciate the article. Forty-five years ago when I became a Believer in Jesus Christ God placed on my heart similar principles. At the time I was a lieutenant on active duty in the US Army. No one told to I need to stop any behaviors except for the Holy Spirit. God loved me and placed in my heart the desire to stop using tobacco. He also placed in my heart the desire to stop using alcohol. At the time almost all my fellow Army office headed to the “O” club for happy hour and a nightcap to finish the days when we were deployed. God placed on my heart the desire to stop drinking alcohol and to stop going where it was served. Church friends replaced the military officer friends for the persons I fellowshipped with when off duty. As hard a time as I see some having in giving up items like alcohol and tobacco, in 1977 God simply answered my prayer after I accepted Christ when I asked Him to show me how to live the Christian life and be a witness for Him. Amazingly in my case he removed all desire and habits I had engaged in for seven or eight years ended as He removed the desire and showed me what to do.
Jimmie, I’m so glad you were attentive to God’s call and His plan for your life. You’ve been able to impact so many others through your ministry and your writing (which is part of your ministry, too). Your story is an inspiration for others. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Great reminder, Katherine. We should all do an evaluation of our behaviors every now and then. I’m so glad we have Jesus to take us out of the line of fire.
I am so glad to read this and see where I have made strides forward. This year I wanted to be more in the Word and have succeeded. It has taken discipline but I have learned so much and really miss it when I miss a day.
I can tell you are really in the word when I read your posts, Jen. You’re so knowledgeable and I can see that you put a lot of research and preparation into your messages. They are always so meaningful and informative. I’m continuing to pray for your healing.
Thank you Lord for the gift of the Holy Spirit to guide and train us. Wonderful post Katherine. Thanks for sharing
Thank you for your encouragement, Yvonne. Wishing you a blessed week, filled with joy and sunshine.