A hard question

A sweet, young friend asked me a hard question last week. Have you ever gotten those questions where you answer initially, but then you keep thinking about what else you could have (should have) said?

This dear girl prefaced her question with, “I don’t want to make you feel bad, but I’d like to talk about divorce and remarriage.”

Ouch!

Then she asked, “Is it okay to marry someone who is divorced?”

I’m divorced and remarried.

My friend’s inquiry is legitimate. The Bible tells us much about this issue. Jesus answered his disciples’ question about divorce:

Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” Mark 10:11-12

Another big ouch!

And again in the Gospel of Matthew…

It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexuality immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” Matthew 5:31-32

Some of you reading this may be feeling pain as well. Perhaps, like me, you have a wonderful second marriage with children that you cherish. Does the thought that you are labeled as an adulterer make you sick at heart?

I’m not denying my sin.

For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23 (all scripture is NIV)

And, I’m not making excuses either. My first marriage failed because of my selfishness and controlling behavior.

The Gospel of Luke, 6:18 confirms the message from Matthew and Mark, but in our Lord’s encounter with the woman caught in adultery, I find hope.

The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and and asked her, “Woman where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

“No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” John 8:3-11

Neither do I condemn you. Leave your life of sin.

Those are the words that give me hope. In fact, His words grant me confidence that I have been forgiven. Jesus doesn’t condemn me for my second marriage.

I’m living in a loving relationship–leaving my life of sin behind. That’s not to say that I’m perfect. Far from it.

But, I confessed my sin. Asked forgiveness. I believe my Lord has granted forgiveness and blessed me in my marriage. I’m trying to do better.

Yes, we all have sinned, but…

All are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood–to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished. Romans 3:24-25.

The love and grace of my Lord and Savior is immeasurable and it’s big enough to cover even my sin (and yours).

I welcome your thoughts about divorce and remarriage. It’s okay if you disagree, but, please be kind! Wishing you a happy and blessed week, my friends.