Are you an encourager?

This week’s blog is an excerpt from an awesome Bible study and devotional, The Power to Make a Difference. Details below on how to order! I am honored to be a contributor to this inspiring compilation.

The Power of Encouraging Words

“Atta girl! You can make it. Keep going!”

The first grader huffed out a breath, clenched her teeth and steadily continued her crunches (sit-ups) as the stop watch raced forward on its sixty-second count.

“You’re almost there!” I urged, counting her repetitions as I pressed gently to hold her feet. She grunted on each upward surge as she maintained a steady rhythm of up and down.

“Stop! Times up.” I shut off the watch.

She collapsed onto her back, but immediately rose again to a sitting position, eyes aglow with fierce anticipation. “Did I get enough?”

“Yes.” I smiled as her face lit up like a burst of sunlight following a summer rainstorm.

“My Daddy’s going to be so proud!” She jumped to her feet, gave me a hug and sped back to her classroom.

Carrie¹ qualified for the President’s Challenge Physical Fitness Award. This hard working, highly motivated student had previously breezed through the mile run, flexibility test, pull-ups and shuttle run, scoring above the 85^th percentile.

But, sit-ups had defeated her.

Encouragement (giving support, offering confidence and hope) made the difference for Carrie. This sweet creation of God received a second chance and her willingness to try again brought success to this determined six year old.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:11NIV ²)

Our words are powerful. And, most certainly, words of parents, teachers and extended family wield tremendous force as we encourage (or discourage) our children. Little ones thrive on affirmation of their achievements and recognition of milestones of growth. Setting challenges suitable to the child’s age and abilities and providing positive feedback fosters further learning and leads to healthy intrinsic motivation (from within) to succeed.

Encouragement is not limited to children, we have ample opportunities to encourage (or discourage) our family, friends and co-workers on a regular basis. Affirmation for a job well done or encouragement for ongoing attempts impact how we grow, develop and succeed.

Encouragement builds positive self-esteem and the confidence and initiative to keep trying. Children and adults thrive on positive reinforcement or, as the Apostle Paul would say, “build each other up.”

But, what if we’re not encouraged?

My earthly father was a harsh, demanding and critical man. His verbal attacks pumped fear into the hearts of his children and robbed them of self-confidence. He was not an encourager.

Perhaps his parenting style was a carryover from his own father. My dad lived through the depression and survived the European Campaign of World War II. He had demons of his own to deal with. I suppose that he loved me, but he didn’t know how to show it. As a result, I became an overachiever, a perfectionist, impatient with my own weaknesses and those of others. My ability to be an encouraging teacher, wife, parent and friend is the result of my mother’s love and God’s grace in healing me from the lingering pain of my father’s verbal discouragement.

Words of discouragement are powerful in shaping our sense of who we are. Excessive negative verbal feedback can cause fear, anxiety, depression and hopelessness. The Word of God is firm about negative behaviors we should avoid: 

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:31-32)

If we avoid malice and slander and are kind and compassionate in our verbal and non-verbal communication (body language), then we will be encouragers.

The Psalmist reminds us that using our words for good is in accordance to God’s will. Our verbal interactions with (or about) others should be positive. We should avoid words which might cause harm.

Whoever of you loves his life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry; but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to blot out their name from the earth. (Psalm 34:12-16)

Jesus provides a positive role model for us. He often took on the role of teacher and mentor in his ministry. Our Lord demonstrated the importance of encouragement in his relationship with his disciples. His living example and guidance provided during his time on Earth enabled the apostles to carry on the work of spreading the Gospel after Jesus ascended into heaven.

The Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:18-20)

Jesus reminded his disciples (and we are included in that number) that He is always with us. Through his teaching, encouragement and confidence in his disciples, Christ equipped them “for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.” (Ephesians 4:12-13)

Encouraging our children, family, fellow church members, colleagues and peers builds them up to work for our Lord. Our words of affirmation, support and encouragement spread the Good News of Jesus Christ and influence others to live as children of God.

My young student grew into a confident, well-adjusted, wonderful young lady. She flourished in academics and athletics. She has served many years as a teacher and now has children of her own.

I cannot take credit for her success, but I know the Power of Words, as utilized by teachers and parents, contributes significantly to the development of our children. I believe that our words and actions, in all cases, have tremendous impact on others. I will always remember Carrie’s joy when she successfully achieved the fitness goal she had set for herself. She wanted to please her earthly father—and she did. Now Carrie pleases her heavenly Father as she serves as a positive and encouraging role model in her church, for her students, her own children and others.

I believe our Father is proud of her.

As children of God, is our heavenly Father proud of us for our positive and encouraging attitude? Are we using the Power of our Words and actions to encourage others in their walk with Christ?

If ever we need encouragement and to be an encourager–it is now!

Prayer: Father, I know I’ve been guilty of using my words inappropriately. I’ve discouraged Your children rather than encouraged. I pray as the Psalmist did: May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer (Psalm 19:14). Lord, please guide me to be an encourager in my words and actions, that I may serve You by serving Your children. In the precious name of Jesus, Amen.

¹ Carrie is not her real name

² All scripture is NIV

The Power to Make a Difference is compiled by Beebe and Katy Kauffman, published by Lighthouse Bible Studies, and is available on Amazon or from www.lighthousebiblestudies.com