Cold-hearted
Have you ever been called cold-hearted?
Sigh . . . I confess that I have. A loved one and I once had a disagreement. I don’t remember what it was about now, but I do recall stubbornly sticking to my point of view and not respecting their opinion. We parted in anger–their accusation of, “You’re stubborn and cold-hearted” rang in my ears.
Their words stung–was I coldhearted?
Probably–and likely that cold heart was as hard as stone, too. I admit to a period of time when I was:
- Stubborn
- Hard-headed and hard-hearted
- Obsessed with being in control
- Determined that my opinion was the only one that counted
That describes a cold-hearted person, don’t you think?
What/who can change a cold-hearted person?
God can!
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” (Ezekiel:36:26-27)
Sometimes we drift into the condition of having a heart of stone. We may progressively begin to become more self-centered, determined to have our own way, and less willing to listen to God’s guidance (or anyone else’s).
The state of cold-heartedness is damaging to ourselves and to others. Turning away from God can lead to behaviors that make our hearts harder and colder. We may:
- Treat others with disrespect
- Disregard the feelings and opinions of others
- Speak unkindly to, and about, others
- Always put our needs first
Turning a cold heart into a warm one
For those who are wiser than I was in that stage of my life, turning willingly to God and asking Him to help us change is a less painful cure than what I received. I resisted change until God brought me to my knees through a series of trials.
He got my attention.
I fell before Him in despair.
He lifted me from the pit of sin.
I prayed for Him to help me change.
God answers our call for help
Through prayer, Bible study, the support of a loving group of believers, and God’s faithful love and guidance, my cold heart of stone warmed to a living heart of love. I was finally able to recognize God’s love for me. Only then did I become capable of loving and respecting others–and could then show this love through my actions.
I learned the meaning of self-sacrifice.
Lighthouse Bible Studies published a delightful and inspiring compilation, Heart Renovation: A Construction Guide to Godly Character.* One of the articles, “Self-Sacrifice: No Greater Love,” by Lauren Craft focuses on “real love,” as described by Jesus, the kind of love that “places others before self” (p. 156).
Craft writes about the best part of self-sacrifice–when we give up something we love for others, God doesn’t leave us–He grants us new joy and purpose.
“When we sacrifice the things we love, God doesn’t leave us with an empty spot in our hearts. He replaces what we’ve sacrificed with a new joy, a new purpose.”
Lauren Craft, Heart Renovation, p, 158
Jesus is our greatest example of self-sacrifice.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)
We’re not called to make the ultimate sacrifice that Jesus made for us by death on the cross. But self-sacrifice involves putting the needs of others above our own.
Do you have a role model that has shown you the true meaning of self-sacrifice? Did someone act as a mentor to guide you from having a heart of stone to a heart of flesh–a heart who gives love to others? The sharing of your experience can inspire others.
*Heart Renovation: A Construction Guide to Godly Character. (2018). Compiled by Katy Kauffman, Lighthouse Bible Studies.
How easily cold heartedness can slip into our lives. Thank you for the reminder, Katherine.
You are right, Diana. I know that I need to be constantly aware of the “sneaky” sin–cold-heartedness–and cry out to God in prayer when I feel it slip in. Thank for sharing your thoughts.
I’m grateful God is in the business of changing hearts! Thank you for your words, Katherine. Blessings to you!
Oh, yes, Kim! I’m thankful that God loves us and is patient with us when we stumble and fall. He’s always ready to answer our call for help. Wishing you a blessed week.
I thank God that when my heart tries to turn cold, He reminds me of His love and forgiveness. Have a blessed week! 🙂
Like you, Melissa, I’m so grateful we can call out to our loving Father when our hearts become cold or stone hard. He’s always ready to help us turn away from the dark path of sin and come into His light. Joy and blessings!
I definitely had a role model who demonstrated self-sacrifice. My father. He’s passed now, but I remember the character-building lessons he taught me through his examples.
What a blessing for you–a loving earthly father who taught you self-sacrifice through his loving example. I’m sure you are now living out his example with others. Thank you for sharing, Priscilla.
We’re being conformed to the image of Christ daily and that often happens through tough situations. God is in the business of heart-change, forgiveness, and unfailing love. I am humbled by that and when I am in relationships where I need to do the same, it takes His enablement and grace to follow through.
Thank you for sharing, Marilyn. I’m so thankful that our loving Father is in “the business of heart-change”–and that He had mercy for me when I desperately needed a heart-change. His grace, love, and mercy humbles me, too. May God continue to bless your ministry of service to Him.
I have been there too and still have my moments. Thanks, Katherine for sharing your insights. God bless!
I expect we’re not alone in having those occasional set-backs, Nancy. We are blessed that our loving Father blesses us with second (and more) chances. Peace and blessings.
Katherine, I relate to this blog as I too have been cold-hearted. I’m thankful for God’s loving, but sometimes firm work, to melt my heart. This is a reminder to be loving and kind toward others who are also struggling in this area. I’ve learned past pain can be the cause of this condition, so perhaps others need the same love God gives us. Thank you for sharing.
Our Father and Savior are wonderful examples of sacrificial love. They are our role models, and though we cannot achieve their perfection, we can continue to strive to love others as Jesus loves us. Thank you, Lisa,” for being a wonderful role model for sacrificial love.
I’m so grateful for the Lord’s commitment to change us for the good! Nothing is impossible for Him and I find such comfort in knowing no matter what a ‘tough case’ or ‘problem child’ I am, He will do the work. Thanks for this good reminder and encouragement. God bless!
God loves us beyond our ability to understand–Amazing love! We are soo blessed to have a loving Father who never gives up on us. May God send you showers of blessings this week, Wendy!
It is never easy to accept change, but when we realize we need to, we are one step closer to softening our hearts and allowing God in. Blessings, Katherine!
Barbara, you’ve reminded us of the most important aspect of seeking help–we must first confess, take our needs to Father. If we feel the conviction, the need to confess our sins in order to get back on His pathway, He is right there, ready to forgive us and turn us in the right direction. Thank you for sending good wishes.
My heart has been under renovation for a long time. Sometimes we have a cold heart because someone we loved deeply hurt us deeply. Other times it’s pride, or insecurity. All kinds of reasons. Thank goodness God, who renovates our hearts,
I’m so glad God doesn’t take breaks or retire from His Heart Renovation actions. It seems like I’m always needing a “repair” or a “remodel.” Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Candyce. Peace and blessings.
How important it is that we walk humbly before the Lord and ask him to reveal our hearts to us. Wonderful message, Katherine.
Thank you for your kind encouragement, Terri. We are so blessed that He listens to our prayers and calls for help, and He is faithful and trustworthy in responding.
The cure for a “cold heart” is to keep His Word burning brightly in our lives. Wonderful post Ms. Katherine, and when you share your past with us we see just how far God has brought you. Such an inspiring story. I’m both proud of you and grateful that the “farm girl” I know was radically changed by God’s love. Thank you for sharing ma’am.
“Keep His Word burning brightly in our lives.” I love that, J.D. I’m so grateful God grants us second chances (and many more). He pulled me from the pit and saved me. I’m thank God sends loving and inspiring role models and mentors (like you are for me) into our lives. Thank you, my friend, for sharing our Lord’s love with others. I am blessed.
Thank you for your transparency Katherine. We need to make sure to allow God to soften our hearts with His mercy and love. Blessings
You are right, Yvonne. God is right there with us, but we must make the choice to let Him into our hearts. We are so blessed by His mercy and love. Joy and blessings!
I’m so thankful the Holy Spirit is the hound of heaven who pursues us when we slip into cold-heartedness. I pray for a tender heart that responds to His promptings and not to be like the stiff-necked donkey!
“The hound of heaven…” This is the first time I’ve heard that phrase, Debbie, and I like it. The Holy Spirit pursues us like a “hound dog” on the trail, persistent and tenacious. Thank you for sharing that analogy. We are so blessed by His faithfulness, mercy, and love. Blessings!
I love this post, Katherine! And I use Ezekiel 36:26 in my WIP about a character with a stony heart who yields to God and becomes a new creation in Christ. I’m thankful He changed my heart.
LuAnn, I am thankful and blessed He changed my heart, too. We are so blessed to have a loving, merciful, and forgiving Savior. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.