Letting go
Have you experienced a grudge?
Perhaps you’ve been on the receiving end of a long-held grudge. You may not even be aware of the situation until a friend or family member dredges up an unpleasant occasion from the past and confronts you. Maybe there are incidents that you remember all too clearly, but you’ve been unable to acknowledge your guilt or apologize for the hurt you’ve caused another.
Or maybe you‘ve carefully nourished a hurt or mistreatment for many years. Do you bring out past painful experiences in the midst of an argument?
“You never keep your promises!”
“You’ve shown how you really feel and how little you care by the way you treat me.”
“You always respond when someone else asks for help, but you ignore me when I need you. You never do anything for me!”
Or one of the worst–bringing up past mistakes of another.
“Ten years ago you…”
Unfortunately, holding a grudge–clinging to anger and unforgiveness takes a great toll on us and our loved ones. It takes a lot of energy to continue to maintain anger.
The part of our inmost being that we nourish is the one that guides our actions. If we feed our anger and unforgiveness by thinking about it, dwelling on it, and bringing it into confrontations, that bitterness takes over our heart and mind and rules our life.
Let it go!
That sounds too simple, doesn’t it?
But, we do have a choice.
It is just as easy to dwell on our blessings as it is the shortcomings of others.
We can make a choice to look for the positive in a situation rather than the negative.
We can choose to forgive a hurt or a slight. It may be the more difficult choice than getting mad, but forgiveness is always an option.
We can choose to attempt to mend a broken relationship–even if we don’t view the rift as our fault–we can still seek reconciliation.
And, most importantly, we have the loving example of our Lord to guide us in love and forgiveness.
Therefore as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-14
If you are nourishing a past hurt against someone, I invite you consider what you might say to them if you knew they only had a short time to live. Would you take steps to heal the breech? Would you forgive?
Sometimes there comes a point in our lives where we recognize that love is greater than anger or pain.
Thanks for the reminder that forgiveness is always an option, Katherine! Unfortunately, I sometimes choose it as my last option, after I’ve exhausted my “humanly” and unkind options, but I’m glad to be reminded that it’s better to dwell on my blessings, not a grudge of anger and unforgiveness! Thanks for sharing!
I have the same problem, my friend. Forgiveness should be the first think we consider. After all, Jesus is our example. But, often, I find myself waiting. Thankfully, our Lord gives us that nudge to Let It Go! Forgive!
Amen Ms. Katherine! I so wish you were coming to Enrich this year my friend. One day. It’s always amazed me how we humans will spend so much time and energy holding onto a past hurt or a wrong we perceived someone did to us. I wish I could tell you I’ve learned to forgive like God has, but I’ll continue to be a work in progress until the day. To whomever might be holding a grudge against me, or feel I’ve slighted, betrayed, or harmed you, I ask your forgiveness. For those who’ve sought to harm me. You failed. I’ve forgiven you. I pray you’ll allow God to do the same.
I wish I could be at Enrich with all you wonderful folks. I know you will have a awesome time! You are right, J.D. We expend so much energy maintaining anger when we could accomplish so much if we didn’t hold onto that grudge.
I’ve always believed a grudge is too great a burden to bear. For anyone. It eats you up from the inside.
I’ve never seen the movies but when I heard about The Grudge and The Purge it sent holy shivers down my spine. It’s progressive. Thoughts create acts.
I researched teen violence for an assignment when completing my Bachelors degree and it’s horrifying. They all, and I mean all, ‘heard voices’. They ventured into the dark side, made choices, thought thoughts, and acted.