Rejection
Ever been rejected?
What a ridiculous question! Haven’t we all been rejected at some time or another? (I know you writers know what I mean).
According to Webster’s Dictionary reject means:
- to cast from one;
- to throw away;
- to refuse;
- to put aside;
- a person or a thing not up to standard.
Ouch!
What do we feel like when we’ve been rejected? Probably disappointed, hurt, angry, depressed…
Many years ago when I was fresh out of college with a master’s degree in education, I applied and was interviewed for a teaching position at a middle school. The interview went well and I was optimistic about getting the job. When the call came from the principal his words stunned me, “You’d be an asset for our school, but we need a man, to look after the buses.”
What?
He didn’t mean he needed a mechanic.
He wanted a teacher that could stand in the parking lot at the end of the school day and wave the buses out of line, one at a time. I thought I’d interviewed for a teaching job. No mention was made of the requirement to be male. I could drive a bus with a manual transmission. I possessed a current bus license and, as a farm girl, could drive a tractor, truck and a lawn mower if needed. But, I didn’t have the primary criteria–the male gender.
The man chosen was also a new graduate, a bachelor’s degree and no teaching experience. This was before the days when gender discrimination was recognized. No one questioned the principal’s right to reject me because I was female.
I was deeply hurt and angered, but went on to get an amazing position in another school system. God granted me an alternate and awesome opportunity.
I’ve had a wonderful career as a teacher and administrator. Officially retired in 2015 after 36 years, I’ve continued to teach part time. Adjusting to retirement has been a challenge–I’ve missed my students, colleagues and the day-to-day excitement of being in academia on a university campus. Two months ago the possibility of filling an interim administrative position for four months was brought to my attention. I was excited and hopeful about this opportunity. I’ve missed the challenge and excitement of my work.
But…I wasn’t chosen.
I was rejected.
No gender discrimination this time. The woman chosen for the position is an experienced administrator and highly qualified (more so than I am for the job). Of course, that only slightly reduced the sadness of rejection. I don’t believe rejection ever becomes easy to accept. What do you think? Please feel free to share your thoughts.
I felt a lot like that 23 year old, four decades ago, seeking her first teaching job. This time I didn’t cry, but I again experienced pain and loss or as the definition above specifies–I felt “thrown away and not up to standard”.
Come to me, all your who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29
One thing is different from that long ago experience…
I’m stronger in my faith.
I had prayed to be granted this opportunity, but I also prayed that if this position was not part of His plan for me, that God would help me accept the rejection graciously and He would grant me another, yet amazing, opportunity to serve Him.
There is someone who will never reject us.
The most awesome fact, of course, is that Jesus will never reject us. We can always cry out to Him in our pain, sadness and anger. He will grant us peace and rest. I know, with assurance, that He has a different plan for me.
Being confident in this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6
Wishing you blessings, my friends.
Love your site Katherine. The white space is refreshing. I was rejected from a teaching position once because the principal figured if a fight broke out I was too young and inexperienced to break it up–since the auditorium (drama teacher) was too far from the main office. Ironically, years later, I was offered that position and I turned it down in favor of the middle school job I already had. Great Monday encouragement!
Thanks so much for your encouragement, Lindsey. You’re a middle school teacher (or have been)! I’ve always thought that God’s special and chosen people are either kindergarten or middle school teachers. There must be a beautiful place in heaven for you! Those ages need such a love and attention and K and middle school teachers are so full of love. Blessings!
Sometimes we need those reminders! Especially when you have earned the degrees and acquired a strong work history. I never really thought much about ageism until I have experienced it personally and witnessed it with others in my age group.
I believe you are right–our perspective changes as we age–we notice things that we didn’t when we were younger. I don’t want you to think that I was rejected this time because of my age. There were other factors that I won’t go into. But, as you’ve probably experienced as well, the pain from rejection hurts no matter what our age! I’m just so thankful that we can take all our hurt and despair to the throne of grace. I’m so thankful you stopped by my blog. Wishing you a blessed week, Judy!
Katherine I enjoyed your article but sad that you were rejected. There are so many kinds of rejection. I’ve been rejected at church events which is sad. I learned once you reach a certain age sometimes you’re invisible to those younger which is a form of rejection. Dismissed almost.
We all are rejected at some point in job situations even with internal positions and sometimes for less than honest reasons.
I try to use those experiences to be sure I’m not rejecting others. I tend to read people in group settings who feel left out and strike up conversations. Though I can get distracted and miss some opportunities.
You bring up a point that God will not reject those who call on Him. Very thankful for the Redeemer who doesn’t reject the redeemed.
Daphne, Thank you for the reminder that we learn from those rejections–how to treat others with love and respect. You’ve given us a wonderful example to reach out to others who might feel left out. Thank you for your encouragement. Wishing you a blessed week!
Thank goodness there’s Someone who will never reject us, because rejection stings no matter what age we are!! Thank you for sharing these words!
Amen. Thankful my heavenly Father never leaves and never forsakes. Blessings
Sadly, everyone can relate to rejection. So wonderful, as you pointed out, though that Jesus will never reject us. In fact He won’t reject any one who seeks Him. Moreover, since He spent time in human form on this earth, He experienced rejection and can truly understand how we feel when we are rejected. You may not have gotten the teaching position or the admin position, but you will always have Him!
Alice, Thanks so much for stopping by my blog. Your point that Jesus understands our rejection because He went through it is so important for us to recognize. He has felt all the pain that we have experienced, thus His compassion for our struggles abounds! How awesome that our Savior loves and understands us so well. Of course, on the other hand, he knows our weaknesses, but as the Apostle Paul reminds us, Jesus can use our weaknesses in service to Him. Wishing you a blessed day, my friend.
Katherine, I can relate to this article very well. I lived for years with an unhealthy fear of rejection. When I turned my life over to God, He began to transform my heart. It has been a slow but powerful process and I’m so thankful, that now when I am or feel rejected, I can stop, recognize the truth over Satan’s lies, and run to the Father, who promises me, that nothing whatsoever can separate me from His love. He is good!
Valerie, Isn’t it wonderful that we can run to the Father no matter what? Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and reminding me of His promise that nothing will separate us from His love. God is good–all the time! Wishing you continued blessings, my friend.