What about those goals?
Did you set goals for 2025? I won’t call them New Year’s Resolutions—those things we resolve to accomplish—often just set us up for failure. But are there actions you want to take this year to be kinder to others or to yourself, to replace a bad habit with a good one? What about those goals?
Research shows us that most people give up on their goals (New Year’s Resolutions) by the end of January.
A few years ago, my goal for the year was to be kind.
I don’t know that I’ve ever intentionally set out to be an unkind person, but there was a time in my life that I wasn’t very nice. It wasn’t that I wanted to be rude or judgmental, but I was such a driven person (a step beyond my current over-achiever status) that I expected too much from others.
Characteristics of being an over the top over-achiever:
- Everything needs to be perfect—not just my tasks, but others need to be perfect, too.
- There’s just one way to do things and it’s my way.
- My timeline is the one that matters, not yours.
- “When you have a chance to do this…” actually means, “Drop whatever you’re doing and take care of my wishes right now.”
- If you can’t do it the way I think it needs to be done, just get out of the way and let me do it.
I probably (hopefully) wasn’t quite that bad, but certainly had some of those tendencies. Through self-reflection and lots of prayers, I set a goal to be a kinder person.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23 NIV)
Achieving my goal
Like most of my “projects,” I made a plan:
- Reflect honestly on what behaviors I need to change—when did I most often exhibit unkind behaviors. Was it one-on-one with loved ones? Was it in group settings? Church? Workplace? Home?
- Observe and pay attention to what I say or do—then reflect upon how a “kinder” person would have behaved. How could I have handled the situation differently?
- Recognize when I mess up, admit it, learn from my mistakes, and do better the next time.
- Realize that I’m not going to be perfect overnight. It takes time, practice, consistency, and continued effort to change ingrained habits and behaviors.
Did I leave something out? Yes!
Pray, pray, pray…
After reflection, if there are actions or behaviors you feel you should change, or new habits you should develop to benefit you or your loved ones—ask for our loving Savior’s guidance. Pray before you identify goals, pray for guidance as you select where to begin, pray for encouragement to keep going.
If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. (John 15:7)
Change is hard
Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. (Proverbs 16:3)
As I struggled to change my controlling attitude and become more caring, encouraging, and teamwork oriented, I messed up often.
But I didn’t give up—and God helped me keep trying.
I’m not perfect, but I am better. And God is still with me on the journey.
He will help you, too. What about those goals? Did you set some? Are you struggling? Can I pray for you?
Don’t give up!
I set a goal to second-draft my novel this year, and then I promptly changed it to a goal of publishing a collection of short stories and poems. I also set a goal to read through the Bible in 2025 and to do visual art (I settled on weaving). Yes, change is hard, but God is our strength!
Your goals are wonderful, Priscilla. Sending my prayers and best wishes that you achieve each one. Thank you for sharing. Blessings!
I hear you, Katherine. I need some of those same goals. Thanks for the kind but clear reminder.
Thank you, Diana. I’m grateful for your comment and kind encouragement. I’m still working on my goals, too. Sending good wishes your way!
Love this message! Thank you for the reminder to pray, pray, pray, and don’t give up. 🙂 Have a blessed week!
Never give up! I need to remind myself of that, too. When we authors get those rejections, encouragement and perseverance help us keep going to try again. Wishing you a week filled with joy (and lots of time with grandchildren!)
Oh Katherine, we could be twins. I’ve been an overachiever and have often expected the same from others. I usually exhaust myself to get things done right (according to my thinking). The Lord has worked in me since moving Mom into my home. My driven agendas are often on hold these days.
January 2025, God let me peer into my past behaviors to become a kinder, softer, more caring human. This post is timely and needed in my life. Thank you for sharing with transparency and honesty.
Lisa, thank you for letting me know I’m not alone. Being an aver-achiever and perfectionist is often a lonely place to be. Thank you for sharing your goals and hopes. I’m praying for you!
“Kindness” was my word for the year a few years ago. Not because I’m unkind, per say, but because I’m introverted and often prefer to stay under the radar. But I wanted to push myself to more intentional acts of kindness. The world needs more kindness, and I know from personal experience what a difference one small act of kindness can make for another.
I’m thankful you shared your thoughts, Candyce. I’m an introvert, too. I’d rather work alone and set my own standards. I’ve had to focus and change in order to step out of that shell of isolation and work with a team. Isn’t it wonderful that God never gives up on us and waits patiently for us to come to our senses and submit to his guidance? You are kind–and I’m blessed by your friendship. Wishing you a joyful week.
Thanks for some realistic thoughts on New Year’s resolutions and especially that prayer is needed to work on any of those! So true, Katherine!
Than you for your kind encouragement, Kathy. I hope your new year is filled with blessings and joy.
Pray and don’t give up. Two very important keys to change. Thanks for the encouragement, Katherine.
I especially appreciate the reminder to “prayer prayer prayer.” I think it’s the most important step in setting goals. Thanks for all your encouragement Katherine